slow-burn-out
June 2000 - Sydney - sexy hung lad - “wanna try some crystal? - Um yeah - what’s that? - Honey - just you wait!” - Oh my God - needles - close eyes - grimace - whack - wow fucking amazing - best sex ever - I’m a indestructible sex God - fuck yeah. Again - again - again - credit card cash advances - wild sex parties - turning tricks for Tina - skulking home - hiding from light and lover - agro at work - what do mean you have to let me go - you fucking arseholes - my brilliant career goes bust - wild dimly remembered run on severance pay - deep dark depression seeps through my being - “you gotta leave I cant take this crap anymore” - homeless - hmmm no friends left except the party boys - moment of clarity - doctors - “sorry but you got HIV and Hep C” holy fuck - a year of shocked sanity - tried to get straight - shitty flat - even shittier jobs - bad reaction to meds - on toilet several hours a day – can’t shake the bad dog off - Prozac - Cipramil - Aurorix - man I need a few hours away from all this.. Heavy duty leather party - blasting in the toilets - fuck yeah - the Porno God is Reborn - trodden into filth of the backroom floor - fucked and fisted by complete strangers - fuck I’m bleeding - no I mean I’m really fucking bleeding man - emergency surgery - permanently busted arse - humiliating painful come down in ward - liver function tests not good at all - liver biopsy - results even worse - “I seriously suggest a 12 month course of Interferon cause HIV patients don’t qualify for organ transplants” - treatment like permanent meth come down - disability support pension - public housing - food handouts - receding gums - hollowed out body - bone draining fatigue - angry bewildered family -rather be dead - but haven’t got the guts.