goodbye tina

GOODBYE TINA:

to the tune of “Hello, Dolly” from Hello, Dolly!
music & original lyrics by Jerry Herman
parody lyrics by Tom Orr
written for Tina’s Café – August 2004

WELL, GOODBYE, TINA!
YES, GOODBYE, TINA!
YOU’RE NOT WELCOME IN MY BEDROOM ANYMORE!
I’M THROUGH WITH YOU, TINA!
TOODLELOO, TINA!
ALL THAT WASTED TIME I WON’T GET BACK,
YOU WHACK CRACK WHORE!
ONCE MORE MY SOUL’S … FEELING!
MY ASSHOLE’S … HEALING!
MY REMOTE CONTROLS ARE FREE OF RESIDUE!
OOH …
SO, EN GARDE, TINA!
MY COCK IS ONCE AGAIN ROCK HARD, TINA!
AND, TINA, IT SEEMS MY DREAMS WILL NOW COME TRUE!

SO LONG, FAREWELL, TINA!
GO TO HELL, TINA!
NOW I’M FREED AND I DON’T NEED TO BE ON SPEED!
MY FINAL BREATH, TINA,
WON’T BE METH, TINA!
BITCH, YOU’RE SCARY! NO OBITUARY
WILL I READ!
YOUR SIREN CALL … LURED ME!
THEN WITHDRAWAL … CURED ME!
NOW PRAISE ALLAH, HALLELUJAH AND AMEN!
SO …
PACK YOUR BAGS, TINA!
STOP FUCKING WITH THE FAGS, TINA!
TINA, GO FIND ANOTHER THRILL …
GET A NEW DEATH WISH TO FULFILL …
TINA, WE WILL NOT LET YOU KILL
GAY MEN!

copyright 2004. Tom Orr. All Rights Reserved.