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I Started Using Tina When I Was 19

 

 

Ok, so against my better judgment, I have decided to post to this wall.  After reading all of these post’s I don’t think that they speak to the reader the way that I would want to have been spoken too (no insult intended.)

What I would want to hear about is the reality of the situation.  Not that everything is all better in the end, that there is a stopping point with Tina. But there is not.

I started using Tina with I was 19 years old.  At first, I started by snorting it with a friend I had met online over the fourth of July.  His intent was to have sex with me but he ended up not as I would not shut up.

I kind of find this ironic considering what a crazed sex hound had Tina had turned me into later.

So here is where the real truth of the matter beings, when I twenty-two I decided to try Tina with another friend.  This time I smoked it, and smoke it I did!  I went through a gram all on my own!

The thrill of the rush as the Tina entered my body and more importantly, the craving I had to get fucked, my hole virtually throbbing and thrusting for a cock to be deep inside of it.

This rush was only amplified by the poppers that I used after taking a hit that got me completely spun.  Now the urge was simply uncontrollable.  Yes, I rode some bareback cock.  But only shortly, compared to my other vice.

Soon, it was time.  I took another hit of the pipe and then some big whiffs of the poppers and I started taking dildo’s in me.  I had always been a top and a tight bottom to say the least.  However, Tina and poppers gave me a rush I and urge I had never had before. 

I was soon taking 12-18” dildo’s.  With each new dildo penetrating me I would take a big hit off the pipe and then do more popper’s.  This was the most exhilarating and greatest experience of my life I had thought.

But, the party didn’t end that night.  I am not your average tweaker.  Ya, when I use I do a lot.  But I can go days and months without using.

What they don’t tell you however is the true aftermath.  First, the anxiety of your health.  I feared for year’s going into the doctor to get tested because I had been with so many men bareback that I just knew I had to have had HIV. 
I had also learned that some of the men I had been with had actually been HIV positive and lied about their status as we partied and they fucked me ravid and bareback.

To my amazement I am HIV negative.  I think it is a blessing from god every day.  However, the effects of what some call the devil’s dick didn’t end there as most would think.

Most days, I am fine.  I can work and live life and not even think of Tina.  Other day’s I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about the smoke cloud’s after a big draw off the Tina pipe. 
Aside from that, there are those days when I just crave Tina so badly that my body shakes and I am virtually paralyzed because I can’t do anything but crave the drug.

I thought that stopping the drug would make everything better, but what I discovered was that I was living a self-created hell.  I know that if I do Tina again there really is no turning back.  However, some day’s my yearns for Tina are so bad that I begin to question my own sanity.

I am not going to deny that the sex I had on Tina was amazing.  In fact, there are not enough adjectives’ to describe the kind of euphoria that sex on Tina and popper’s create.  However, the same could be said about this hell that is going without.

So Dorothy, what is the end of the story?  The end is no happily ever after.  Yes I am HIV neg.  Yes, I have not done Tina in month's.  But the urge is still there.  I have a feeling that it will never go away and sometime's the impulse is just too much to resist. 
If I could turn back time I would have honestly never done this PNP scene or tried Tina after knowing what I know now.  The fear, the anxiety. But more importantly, the lose of intemency in my sex life due to this monsterous sexual world I have once expierenced.  I feel like Alice in wonderland.  Having to make a choice between the real world or this world of illusion that offer's so much pleasure but at a cost.


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