Nobody ever told me I had to try it. Nobody ever said "it'll make you feel good". I knew it would, why else would people do it? Just like every one else on this board, I have no one to blame for my problems but myself. Always remember that, you got yourself inot this mess, and you CAN get your self out... By the way, I still love Krissy. She may cause trouble, but you CAN always tell her to leave.
Crystal destroyed a marriage of 23 years. I am clean now because I realized my kids had lost one parent ... they won't lose another. I don't care if I am heavier. I don't care if the house isn't perfect. I am here now for my family, friends and myself. I am not living a lie anymore either. The only thing that doing speed did for me was help me live in a relationship that had made me believe I was nothing. I guess it was better to tweak and not feel anything at all.
Will my children ever see their father again? Probably not, I realize now that man died many years ago. The imposter that remains has disappeared in the ranks of others like him. People who see no reason not to steal, to lie, to hurt those who trust them.
This drug will destroy your life if you don't stop. Cleaning up will be the best gift you could give yourself. There is life after crystal, and it's pretty good too!
If anyone out there recognizes this story, tell Terry or anyone like him, that his children hope he is alive. They want him to know that they are well. His daughter is graduating this year from High School. His son has become good on the guitar. His other daughter has a job and living on her own. They are sorry that drugs mean more to him then they do. They wonder if he ever thinks about them at all.
I have been looking for sites that discuss nutritional demands from using amphetamine class substances. Your pages contain great information overall, and I am very grateful. I have found in my research that 'speed' depletes the body of trace minerals such as zinc, can adversely affect absorption of calcium and magnesium, and surely scavenges the B complex group of nutrients. I am recovering my life from the terrible long-term impediments of using crank. I have depleted the reserves of trust and patience within my closest inner circle of friends, and now waking up to the reality of living a 'lost' life, feel so tortured for having spent years accomplishing nothing but satisfying, in my case, a sexual addiction that I so closely associated with using. I threw out all my porno mags and now look to face-off in real relationships. The most disturbing aspect is knowing where I could be right now--I possess an incredible facility for teaching--that career languished. Using crank detracted from healthy and productive friendships of which I now find to be totally absent. And this at a time when I truly am making a colossal effort to turn my life around. After 3 years of living in my car and crashing at various turns in drug houses of known acqauintances while working temporary jobs and totally spaced out on the need to cement my professional station in life, translated holding a steady job at what I am trained to do and being self-sufficient, I now find myself naked from having lived a total lie to everyone and myself. Forgive the stream-of consciousness drift of my tone, but I revealed the big lie to a counselor last week. I start a long-term job on Monday, and I desperately want to tell people out there what I went through--and continue to struggle with--as I consciously make the choice to DO something good with the life that is leftover from the years of doing crank. I still have a brilliant mind and so much to contribute to this world. ---I would be willing to contribute a regular update of how I am surviving to any bulletin boards out there just so people can grasp the futility of trying to re-enter society after dropping out for so long... but that it truly is worth it.
Years ago I was wild and free. Party harder, try it all. I learned my lessons about L.S.D. mushrooms, I even gave up weed!! a rainbow of inners, outers, downers, and got controll of my drinking. 18 years old is how old I was. when I tried coke, crank, crystal,and glass. Now, Ifound GOD finally and its saved my sanity.I walked into church 2 months ago and havent had a tobacco product of any kind. after 10 years of it. I'm geeking right now. I feel like I fucked up. It's the third day and I work tomorow. I live out of my car. I have no money. myhands are cold. I havent talked to any of my friends in 2 or 3 weeks. I own very little. I don't steel but people i deel with do. they would steel from me so I'm cautious what I let them know. they are paranoid. and have guns. they think that there is a conspiricy in everything. all I want in life now is to catch a good nap but I cant. I see shadowed figures out of the corner of my eyes,and smoke wisps float by. they used to startle me. I'm used to them for now. my lungs are hashed and its hard to breathe. I have every intention to never be this miserable, but then again I did last time also.
first off you people are a bunch of reject wanna be drug addicts. my boyfriend and I are long time meth users not only do we do it we use it we sell it. meth is not the only speed we do (use your imagination)maybe even beyond belief. Yet we are not scum we both have jobs, we are not insane, we have good self esteem, with or with out the influence of any drug. I think anyone who moans and groans about past drug use is pathic, especially if they say they used it because they were lonely, fat, ugly, low self esteem. it was your choice just like it was mine i do it because i love the feeling i have no regrets and neither should anyone it was your choice nobody made you do it so quit bitchin it just annoys people no one feels sorry for you.
I emailed awhile back with a a bit of a positive letter in regards to crystal.Ê It's been almost two years now since I've used and that's because I got pregnant.Ê My baby is now 9 months old and I still haven't used because I'm breastfeeding her.Ê I always knew deep down inside that I would go back to using, at least just on occassions.Ê I was able to handle it then so I'm not worried about it.Ê I always thought that if you are strong enough, you'd be able to control it.Ê But from all the emails on this site, it seems like it's just a matter of time.Ê The stuff was nothing but fun for me.Ê I really had some great times with it.Ê Overall, I'm glad I had the chance to used it without getting sucked into it.Ê I'm not really sure what my point is.....Ê Now, when I think about using, I don't think it would be as fun because I'll have my daughter in the back of my mind.Ê Ever since I've had her I've been different.Ê I feel like everything I do it's for her.Ê I have to be responsible now.Ê And being responsible means not messing with that stuff.Ê Now, how could I have fun with that on my conscience?Ê Back then, I never used with I had problems, it only made it worse.Ê That was my rule and it was a great rule.Ê whateverÊ whatever.Ê Only time will tell if I could keep off it.Ê Isn't that sad?Ê I should be able to say "i should never touch it again, if not for me, then at least for her".ÊÊ Real life - if you've never tried it, leave it alone.Ê It's a point of no return.Ê It will be great at first but in time it WILL make your life a living hell.
I think cm is great if it's pure but I don't think I've ever had it pure or rather if I did have it pure once before then I don't know about it because I didn't do a chemical analysis of it. Or rather I think cm is nightmarish when it's cut with god knows what or a chemist knows what. The last time I took cm it was cut but I didn't know it and now I can't even think anymore; I'm like a vegetable now and I'm ultra angry. The last time I took cm I took it because I wanted better brain functioning and now the exact opposite thing happened to me and all because it was cut. I assume it was cut because I kept my plastic supply bag sandwiched between a book for about a week before I took any and by then it had turned yellowish; a week before it was clear or colorless. I also assume it was cut because I can't think anymore now. So I had a cut drug accident; I feel like I caught AIDS or something because now I have brain damage and there's probably nothing I can do and I guess I have myself to blame for it. I wish I could undo my last taking of cm.
I, also, am proud to say that it has been over a year and a half since ive used any drugs.Ê they ruled my life, now im back in schol and living like i never thought i could without SOME drug to help. i am very grateful for this chance to live.
It happens so slow. Feeling like your a superhero, then loosing in the show. Everyone is different. It hooks at different times. The past is lost. Life can't rewind. Thinking everyone around is running away from you. Can't understand way. Can't seem to keep a friend these day's. No matter how hard you try. The sky is full of gray clouds. Only through my eyes. It's not the rain that's falling. Only my tears coming from my eyes. Only I can wipe them dry. For my life in war I'll fight. If not my soul will die.
a warning to you new users: IF YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON NOW JUST WAIT A FEW MONTHS!!!!!!! I consider myself lucky because I can use once in a while and not get fucked (it's the sex that brings me back) but I am an extreme exception... I have been fucked over by my closest friends because of the stuff: it just stole their morality. they didn't steal from me for the drug, they stole my woman for sex on the drug. I've never been fucked over by people like that in my life. The sick thing is that despite that (it was years ago) I still come back once in awhile for the very same reason. It's pretty awesome folks!! I still haven't fucked anyone over though. However, there has been extreme temptation!! Nobody is that strong. Don't fuck your friends, go home and jerk off (it's almost as good) Don't rip anybody off , just drink a six pack and try to sleep. IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD MORE DON'T DO ANY MORE BE TOUGH SAVE YOUR SELF RESPECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was introduced to crystalmeth in 1969,Ê I was immediately indoctrinated into banging it.Ê I have cussed and cried when all my veins have been so abused that you needed dynamite to break through the calluses.Ê Bitching cause I was wasting it drinking it so as not to waste it. I had several years reprieve from fast, but during that time I developed a nasty cocaine habit.Ê This is not a monkey...it is a fucking 2000 lb. gorilla.Ê I would mix 50mg cocaine to 1gram of fast... that was the instant orgasm that I remembered... sex... hell I had something better. Besides sex interfered with my doing dope,Ê it always screwed everything up. I have been really struggling to maintain 1/2 g a day,Ê and not let it get higher.Ê You know the insanity about this..is I would bang... hoping to hear that freight train,Ê and when that was accomplished, throwing myself into the shower to keep my brain from cooking..Ê DamnÊ that was insane to say the least.Ê I live in a small community in the mid-west.Ê I realized,Ê damn you either tweak or you are a snitch or nark.Ê I have had so many friends..hehÊ steal from me.Ê I lost a good friend last year, he was shot over a $50 rock.Ê I know I am lumping two different chemicals into the same category,Ê but you see...it is all the same with me,Ê only economics rules.Ê I have refused to outright steal..instead bunking what little I could save to sell to try and stretch my dollar,Ê you see I didn't regard that as stealing, you see I only bunked people who had or that I had imagined bunked me.ÊÊÊÊ From the depths I cry out,Ê save me o Lord,Ê only to succumb to the most evil thing I have seen in my wretched 45 yr. of existence.Ê I have Hep C, thank God is in remission.Ê I too have a snaggle toothed smile.Ê I would shoot myself but am afraid I would screw that up,Ê becoming aware, unable to communicate and at the total mercy of whatever pervert or saint that happened to be on shift at that time to care for me.Ê I was a controlled user..you seeÊ I would get out of control and they would lock me up.Ê Oh my God,Ê I wish they had just shot me with a bullet that summer of 69.ÊÊ Anything would be better than this slow drowning in fast shallow water.Ê So I struggle getting 3days...then 30 days... up to 6 months,Ê sheesh 6 months drug free.Ê I wish so that I had listened after treatment in 92 and stayed with the winners.Ê Now today I have a new beginning.ÊÊ I hope that hurting addicts everywhere achieve cool runnings.
Ah it's here and then it's gone; then I go to sleep. It gives great orgasm!!! Still probably the #1 memory for me when I think about past sexual experiences. Just fucking awesome. However, aIthough I've gone on some two week holidays on the stuff, it never stole my soul. I did some things that I wasn't proud of, but not like the other users that I knew; they are, were, and remain to this day arrogant and amoral people. I am a very lucky person, I am allowed to enjoy this wonderful substance once in a while without having it destroy me. The fact is, though that I am an extreme rarity. With the exception of one person, every single person that I have ever known that got involved with the shit fucked up big time at one point or another. And I mean morally!!! Still, sex on the stuff (especially on day 3 or 4) well have you ever came so much that it was like you were pissing? Have you ever had her say things that you just couldn't believe that she was saying? Thats 'cause it's so fucking hard to get off that you have to be a total freak just to bust the goddamned nut. Goodnite folks, she wants me to treat her like a whore again. OH boy is this gonna be grrrrrrrrrrreat!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a hit.
..I AM GLAD TO SAY, I AM NOW 2 YEARS AND SOME ODD DAYS CLEAN AND SOBER, STILL IN THAT INTENSIVE OUT PATIENT COURT ORDERED PROGRAM! I HAVE MADE ALOT OF NEW FRIENDS THROUGH THIS PROGRAM, BUT ONE BY ONE , WE ARE GETTING OUT OF THE PROGRAM, AND ONE BY ONE I SEE ALL MY FRIENDS GOING RIGHT BACK TO ACTIVE USE. THIS SCARES ME SO MUCH. DOES REHAB REALLY WORK? WILL I BE LIKE THEM? WHY IS IT SO HARD TO STAY CLEAN AND SOBER? I WILL BE GETTING OUT IN JAN.'01, IF I CONTINUE TO DO GOOD.I AM IN SCHOOL GETTING A DEGREE IN COMPUTER PROGRAMMING, I MADE THE DEAN'S LIST LAST SEMESTER, AND STILL, I AM SO SCARED OF RETURNING TO MY OLD LIFE STYLE. SOME PEOPLE THINK ITS SO EASY, JUST STOP, ECT..ECT..ECT... YEAH, WELL......LET ME TELL YOU, IT MAY BE EASY TO STOP, BUT ITS HARD AS HELL TO STAY STOPPED! YOU WHO READS THIS WILL THINK I AM A BAD PERSON FOR WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY, BUT OH WELL! MANY PEOPLE THINK, STAY CLEAN FOR THE KIDS, DO IT FOR THE KIDS, THE KIDS, THE KIDS, THE KIDS.....WELL, THE KIDS IS WHAT WILL PROBEBLY TAKE ME BACJK OUT! THEY ARE ANIMALS! MY ANIMALS! 11 GIRL-9 BOY- 6 GIRL- 5 BOY 24 HOURS A DAY 7 DAYS A WEEK, ALL THEY DO IS FIGHT, YELL, SCREAM, MESS UP THE HOUSE, CAUSE ME STRESS LIKE I NEVER KNEW. I FALL TO MY KNEES IN TEARS BECAUSE OF THE SHIT I GO THROUGH WITH THEM!SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I LOVE THEM ONLY BECAUSE I HAVE TO NOT BECAUSE I WANT TO!BUT WITH ALL THIS...THEY ARE WELL TAKEN OF AND GIVEN EVERYTHING THEY NEED.BY THE WAY, I AM A SINGLE MOM, DIVORCED,X IN PRISON FOR KILLING A MAN, AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT, IM FAT NOW! OK, NOW YOU TELL ME, YOU THINK I CAN STAY CLEAN ?
SAMMY HAGAR WHEN HE FRONTED VAN HALEN WROTE SOME LYRICS THAT KEEP POUNDING INTO MY BRAIN IN BETWEEN ALL THE OTHER NOISES I HEAR IN MY ROOM AGAIN BY MYSELF.........AGAIN .........."LIL WHITE LIES"
HUEY LEWIS AND THE NEWS ...........".WALKIN ON A THIN LINE ANGRY ALL THE TIME TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT MY FACE SEE WHAT ITS DOING TOO MEEE YEAHHH WALKING ON A THIN LINE.......................................................
AND OF COURSE THAT BAND CALLED "THE DEVIL" THE LYRICS BY THERE LEAD SINGER LUCIFER666REDRUM SATANSAMMY THERE ONE HIT SONG GOES LIKE THIS "DEATH EQUALS METH " COLLEGE PROFESSORS AND MINISTERS PLAYED THE RECORD BACKWARDS AND CAME UP WITH IT SOUNDS THE SAME NO DIFFERENT THEY SAY ITS BEEN PROVEN ITS A FACT " LETS REVIEW KIDZ ............." "DEATH EQUALS METH"
" METH EQUALS
DEATH" DEATHINETLY A "{ONE HIT BAND")DID I SAY DEATHINETLY OR DEF DEATH..=METH
I just turned thirty-one and I am homeless. Four years ago I had a home, two kids and a job. Now I have memories of what use to be... I started doing meth when a so called friend saw that I was really tired after a ten hour work day. He said it would just give me a little boost. I stayed up for two days. I felt invincible! I was amazed that one line could do so much. How I wish I would have walked away then.
I never thought I would end up here! The needed for SPEED grew out of control. I use to look at my dealer and wonder how she got there. Her life seemed so crazy. Her trailer was filthy, the kids were dirty and there was never any food. I did not understand how someone that was making the money she did could have nothing.
Well, the day I realized how that could be possible, It was to late. I found out I was pregnant. I freaked out! I didn't know what to do! Well, I went to have an abortion and for some reason I just couldn't. So I quit using for about seven months and boy did I get BIG! I had gained so much weight that my doctor use to tease me about having twins. Did I forget to mention that my kids father was telling my family about me using? You see, I left him for about a year and during that time he was giving out all kinds of information to my family. Most of it was hogwash. My Mom and dad were flipping out.
So telling them I was pregnant buy this guy I was dating was not going to be easy. This man was fifteen years older than me. He was also very abusive. I decided not to tell him. I was not going to have my kids terrorized by this monster. During my seventh month, Guess who I caught smoking crystal? My kids dad. The snitch was doing it all this time and ratting me out.
I started using and quit two weeks before she was due. Thank God she was OK. The day I got home I smoked a big bowel. It was great! Two years later here I sit without a job, home, car, or my kids. I could boar you with all the details but you already know how that story goes. I am trying to get my life back together. It is not easy! I have a long way to go. I hope my boyfriend will do the same, so we can live a real life. My kids are living together with their dad. (He treats them all the same.) He is a good dad! Someday I pray for my sanity, other days just to wake up. I can't say that I haven't slipped a few times. I am trying to stay sober. If you haven't tried it DON'T ... You will wish you would have walked away.
My head is spinning round and round,
The same old pain when I come down.
Who are you? Friend or foe? I can't remember, I just don't know.
There is no way forward and no way back.
Always looking for that sack.
My body aches with that burning thirst,
Nothing else matters it comes first.
Our life is crazy, it makes no sense.
I am always angry, You show no defense.
We were happy, were we not?
We had dreams so I thought.
I want to scream but I run.
I want it to stop before we are done.
I am so scared I wish to die...
Please stop me now, Just get me HIGH!
7years ago I began having an affair. And what fun we had! Party all night, wild sex, party some more, after a few days sleep. This affair did begin to take it's toll on me. I wasn't always truthful, especially with my boyfriend, now husband. I would steal small amounts of money from my mother, always thinking I would pay it back. write out bum checks so that I would have cash to "party" with. I have gone through many jobs because of this "affair". Yes, I am sure you guessed, my affair was with the Devil himself.....CRANK, METH, GO-GO. what ever you wish to call it. My husband uses too, although he can control it. If it is near, I do it. I hate the crash and burn. I mean, how can I get up and function if I am dead tired? I went through about 18 months of sever depression. I didnt even want to get out of bed, when i would crank, I still didnt accomplish much. On occassion I would have energy, but mostly wasted energy. I really thought it was non-addicting. What a joke. It has taken our money, beginning to take our health, our self esteem, and the list goes on. I feel guilty, my husband comes from a very respected family. He is such a hard worker. And I feel I have put the straw to his nose and at the same time sat and watched as we began to go down deeper and deeper. What is really terrible to me, is the fact that for the past 4yrs I have thought about stoppng so many times. But when it is there........up the nose it goes. After reading the Cyber Wall, I have serious thoughts about stopping. My husband was just diagnosed with an genetic liver disease. Surely this drug is not helping. He wil lose his life. I MUST remember that it is he that I love and is important to me, not some stupid ass white line. I am an intelligent person! I don't want crank to take my mind as well! Pray for me, pray for my husband. I want to live again. I want to feel normal again. Is it possible? Everytime I think of quitting, I debate the fact that I do have to get up early in the morning and go to work. He can't work due to a motorcycle accident. Now he may never work again. SO....how do I quit, and go through the crash and burn, and still maintain my job? It is so frustrating! This thing grabs ahold of you gripping you so tight, holding you so close, smothering you, blinding you to all that is around you. People tell me I can feel normal again. I want to wake up in the morning feeling refreshed, hearing the birds singing, thinking "this is going to be a great day" Is it possible? Somebody tell me! I am tired of the shit! For a long time i thought there was no Satan, no Devil, only God. I was so worng. This is hell, the Devil has his claws dug into me. I want to be free. God help me! Don't even try crank! It is wicked. Addicting, It destroys, it kills. I want mylife back! God please help me!
I just found your website and wish I only would have found it sooner. More than about half of the questions and stories here I can relate to in some way or another, and that is scary! I just turned 18 and it has been about half a year since I started using meth. Now the meth is more of a "weight loss program" for me. I am having a very hard time staying at 110 lbs (which is what I like to weight) instead of my normal weight which is around 120 lbs, I think. When I started using I weighed almost 150 lbs! I have been as low as 108 lbs., but never over 125 lbs. This shit controls my life. I also have horrible sores (now partial scars) on my arms and legs. They are so bad that I can't wear shorts or short sleeved shirts. It is so embarrassing. I have learned my lesson and pray to God that no one has to go through the same pain -staking hell I have gone through and put my family thrum in just that short period of time. I am slowly reducing my meth intake trying to quit and am wondering is there ANY way I can get rid of these scars and sores??? Please I am very desperate, it is the middle of summer and I have not worn shorts in months! It totally sucks wearing pants all the time and either long sleeved shirts or jackets. It is also awkward to explain to people why I have these scars/sores. I will do anything I can to get rid of these! However I am slowly dealing with the fact that they will never go away. PLEASE TELL ME THERE IS HOPE!!!! PLEASE tell me that there is some kind of cover-up or reducer or SOMETHING to help!!! I am at the end of my rope! I wish I NEVER would have tried it. To all those people out there that come to your web site that are curious... STAY AS FAR AWAY AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN FROM THIS LIFE ALTERING DRUG!!!!!! I may seem to blow this out of proportion a bit, but I have seen rock bottom and I have almost been there myself.It is a place I never want to get near again. In fact I would rather die a hundred times than see anyone I know, love, and care for, even come close to this stuff. It had me hooked with one use. My life has been forever changed, and it is NOT a good change.
NO, IT'S NOT, NO IT'S NOT....
IT'S CAN'T BE ....
DO MY EYES DECEIVE ME.......
i'M FEELING SO LUCKY AND PRIVLEDGED..
Mrs. Tina has graced me with her presence....
So lovely, intoxicating....feel it go STRAIGHT TO MY BRAIN....
AHHHHHH....THE RUSH....I LOVE SO MUCH.....
HAHAHAHA.....FEEL THE PAIN....WITHOUT PAIN NO GAIN....
RIDE HER WELL...WHO HAS THE REIGHS?....
TWEEKY, TWEEKY, TWEEKY.....i TAW' i SAW A PUDDY CAT?!? i DID I DID!!!
JUST REMEMBSER KIDS DON'T LET HER GET YEAH BENT OVER...
YOU DON'T WANT TO FALL FROM GRACE!!!!!!!
NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!!!!!
GOOD MORNING....GOOD NIGHT....IT'S ALL THE SAME....SO DON'T SCARE AND
FRIGHT!!!!!! kEEP YOUR HEADS AND BE SMART BECAUSE DOING CRYSTAL IS
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
FUCKING...............SMART!!!!!! :)
Ê Anybody who uses this drug is playing russian roulette.Ê and the only way to win is be forcibly seperated rom the drug. This drug ruined my life.Ê I was a straight a college student, had a good job and a decent life.Ê A friend introduced me to the drug and I found it to be very nice.Ê The back pain was no longer here.Ê I lost 25 pounds, and looked really good.ÊÊ Ê The doses increased gradually until I was doing a gram or more on a weekend night.Ê Totally pure, fresh out of the oven.Ê As I began to hallucinate (I didnt realize that I was hallucinating) I noticed that the upstairs neighbor lady was somehow peering thru my heater vents and whispering things to me such as "do it, do it, do it again".Ê In an effort to to discourage her from spying on me and taunting me I would waggle me weenie at her and invite her to come down to get some.Ê This, somehow was an incredible rush.Ê It progressed until I would lay for hours on the couch just below the vent and whack off for her.Ê This is still the best sex I have ever had.Ê Then she would hang out across the street and spy thru my apartment sliding glass door.Ê I again accommadated her.Ê (there were woods directly across the street)Ê I only really just barely caught a glimpse of her in the night.Ê Well, turns out, there were people across the street in the woods.Ê Some of the kids would be farting around in the woods occasionally and of course the word gets back to parents, and welll... you can imagine the rest.Ê I can never live with the thought of what they may have seen.Ê Hopefully, just a glimpse, but i dunno.Ê Turns out there never was any upstairs nighbor lady, or any lady in the woods besides concerned parents.Ê Ê I was very close to killing myself but thank god, my crystal supplier got busted.Ê It took me 1 year to get over the massive craving for the drug, and 2 years to feel comfortable that I could say no if it were on a mirror in front of me. Ê Luckily, the latter hasnt been put to the test.Ê The surreal world of crystal meth is unbeliveably beuatiful..until you wake up.Ê Good luck to all you and get clean, at all costs.Ê The audio hallucinations are deadly to both you and your loved ones.
I was turned on to the shit by a girlfriend 3 yrs ago,up untill that time all i did was smoke weed.She told me she would never let me become addicted and i believed her.after 6 mos of smoking it,she turned me on to the needle and it was the beggining of the end.I had 2 young boys who meant everything to me and i would do anything for them,except give up the shit.I went from tweaking on the weekend to staying up for 4 or 5 days at a time,from 230lbs to 185lbs and i thought i looked great,and that i wasnt doing anything wrong.I went from seeing my sons everyday to seeing them every other weekend,and then all i did was tell them to go play.I dis not have any time for them because i was so caught up in the shit,i didnt know what day it was.She convinced me that smoking weed was bad for me and that the shit was good.I had been working for the same company for 14 yrs and by time it was all over i lost 3 jobs and a year and a half of my sons life.I woke up one day in the living room of my connections trailer and the shit was being cooked in the back,and none of it was mine,i had one week left on my rent, very little food in the house.no money,half a pack of cigerettes,no dope and a 1/4 tank of gas in a truck that had a flat and no spare.I went home and slept for 3 days. I woke up long enough to eat what ever was there and then sleep some more. I found a job a week later,by this time i was sleeping in my truck in a friends yard, my first check was put into my arm,and when i realized what i had done ,i cried, i cried for my stupidity,i cried for my sons,i cried for my family,and then i cried for my LIFE.I called my sons mother and confessed all that i had done,i needed help and i needed it now.Thank GOD she was willing to help,if not im not sure where id be now.Im still fighting to stay sober and its a constant battle,if it was not for GOD and some good old Green,id be back on the street chasing that long legged blonde.If you need help,God will give it to you,all you have to do is ask, if you dont ask you wont get it.1st corinthians 10/13 "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man:but God is faithful,who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able;but will with the temptation also make a way to escape,that ye may be able to bear it.Thank you GOD!
MORE OF THE CYBERWALL.....
Click here to contribute to tell Crissy what you think about Speed. Your contributions will remain completely confidential.
For comments or questions please contact: Feedback@STOPAIDS
