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tweaker.org - español
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there is hope

 

 

I AM A 32 YEAR OLD WOMAN WHO HAS NOW JUST GOT OUT OF REHAB AND IS SEEING THE WORLD THROUGH A WHOLE NEW LIGHT. I WAS ON METH FOR ABOUT 10 YEARS AND A LONG 10 YEARS IT WAS. I HAVE DESTROYED MYSELF, MY KIDS, AND MY FAMILY. I HAVE LOST MY HOUSE, KIDS, CARS, AND JOBS ALL DUE TO MY CHRONIC LONG TERM USE OF THIS DRUG. I NEVER THOUGHT IN A MILLION YEARS THAT I WOULD BE SITTING HERE TYPING YOU THIS STORY RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I WAS SO WRAPPED UP IN A WORLD WHERE METH WAS THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT ABOUT WHEN I GOT UP IN THE MORNING AND THE LAST THING I THOUGHT ABOUT WHEN I WENT TO BED AT NIGHT (IF I WENT TO BED). IT TOOK ME HITTING ROCK BOTTOM FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO REALIZE THAT I WAS LETTING THIS DRUG RUN MY LIFE. I DECIDED TO GO TO REHAB AND EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A 28 DAY PROGRAM, IT WAS JUST ENOUGH TIME FOR ME TO GET AWAY FROM THE "OLD CROWD" AND REFLECT ON ME AND THE THINGS THAT MATTER THE MOST IN MY LIFE. I STILL "MOURN" THE LOSS OF MY DRUG, DON'T GET ME WRONG BUT WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT THE DRUG AND HOW IT FELT TO BE HIGH AND WOULD EVEN TASTE IT IN MY MOUTH, I REPLACE THOSE THOUGHTS WITH THE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES THAT WILL SOON FOLLOW , IF I WAS TO RELAPSE. MY FAMILY HAS SHOWN ME SO MUCH SUPPORT AND IS SO VERY PROUD OF ME, ESPECIALLY MY MOTHER WHO IS ALSO A RECOVERING ADDICT. WE JUST FOUND OUT A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO THAT SHE HAS LUNG CANCER SO NOW I HAVE TO BE THERE FOR HER LIKE SHE WAS FOR ME ALL THESE YEARS. I WAS JUST TOO WRAPPED UP IN MY ADDICTION TO SEE IT. I AM NOW ALSO WORKING ON TRYING TO GET MY KIDS BACK AND TRYING TO FIND WORK. I HAVE COME TO REALIZE IF I AM GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS, I AM GOING TO NEED MY HIGHER POWER, A SPONSOR,MEETINGS, AND SUPPORT FROM ALL MY LOVED ONES AND THAT GOES FOR ANYBODY ELSE THAT IS WILLING TO GIVE THIS SOBER WAY OF LIFE A TRY. I KNOW ITS GOING TO BE HARD, BUT IT'S ALL WORTH IT, IN THE END!!! :)

cc




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